Birds of a Feather…

There has been something on my mind and I think it is time to unleash the dragon! Staying POSITIVE can be difficult if you continue to put yourself in unproductive environments. I have learned this the hard way. Sometimes we do not realize how much being around negative people can affect every aspect of our lives. When I say “negative people” this statement is all-inclusive! I am talking about co-workers, friends, lovers, and  family members. Sometimes it is hard to recognize what’s not for you.  Especially when it is someone you love. Many times we stay in situations because we get comfortable. It is easier to stick with what you know even when it is not healthy.

However or wherever you choose to spend your time, be aware that this helps shape you into who you are. Your actions and thoughts will reflect your environment. If you mingle with people who are content without having any goals or ambition, you will eventually  adopt some of these ideas. Many times we find ourselves sharing most of our time with negative people but secretly judging them. We believe that we are not like them or that we would never do the things that they do. Remember the saying “Birds of a feather flock together;” we are bound to espouse some of those same attitudes and actions. At the least, we are affected and over-involved in someone else’s mess. If that is the case, we may as well be doing it ourselves.

It is important to be cautious of where you are and who you are with at all times. Ask yourself, “Does ______ add to or enrich my life?” We need to spend time with those who make us better. If you are involved with anyone who constantly hurts you or puts you in bad situations, it may be time to pause and reflect. People who are good for you will bring happiness to your life and want the best for you. If there is someone you have in mind after reading this post, it might be a good time to complete a pros and cons analysis. Draw a line down the middle of a blank sheet of paper. Write all the positive that this person offers on one side and the negative on the other. If your results show more on the negative, it may be time to reconsider your relationship with this person.

I speak on this topic frequently throughout my blog because it is very important. In order for us to reach our full potential we may have to let go of things that are holding us back. I challenge you to complete a pros and cons analysis and see what you find. You may be surprised! Continue to work on what is best for you. Oh, and it is also possible after reading this post that you find that you are the negative person. If so, do an analysis of your self. It is also healthy to think about what role you play in the lives of others. We have to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses. It is essential to making progress towards positive change. If you feel encouraged by what you have read, please share it with others. “The truth is better naked!”

Give me a G!!!

Truthfully speaking, on a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your efforts of working on your desired goals? I would give myself around a 5! I realize that I must practice what I preach and start  writing down some measurable tasks! I wanted to share one of my goals and the measurable tasks I created to reach it. I hope that this will give you some ideas on how to jumpstart positive change for whatever calling you have on your heart.

Goal # 1: Have a Successful Blog

  • Write for at least 45min-1hr. each Sunday.
  • Post at least 1 piece each week to social media platforms.
  • Contact at least 3 people who may assist with expanding blog site by Aug. 1st.
  •  Read 3 blogs with similar ideas each month.
  • Email select pieces with 2-3 friend or co-workers each month.

These tasks may change and the list may increase. This is just an idea of how to put your goals into action. When you create measurable goals you are giving yourself a deadline. This will help you to stick to your plans and feel great about completing them. It is also a good idea to reward yourself when you complete a goal. This can give you motivation to complete tasks. Share your goals with others. It is important to have people in your life that share similar ideas. The better support systems that we have the more likely we are to see things through. It is also a good way to help others make postive change in their lives. I would love for you to share your goals with me. Who knows, we may be able to help each other! Remember to stay true to you and the rest will follow. It is time to put thought to action!

Is your FOF weighing you down?

I was talking to a friend the other day and we got on the subject of the fear of failure. We talked about how ridiculous the concept; but how it is such a mutual fear amongst so many people. What is it about failure that hinders us from reaching our full potential?

Many who have tried and failed, totally disregard the beauty in making an effort, and focus solely on the fact that they did not get what they wanted. We often expect that the first time we try something new we should get the results that we desire.

In one of my previous pieces, I spoke on “sinkers and swimmers”. A sinker is the person who gives up when faced with adversity. When things do not go according to plan, they lose interest or stop trying. This leaves a slot for the swimmer! The swimmer has faced many disappointments and failed attempts, but they keep trying. They keep going into the unknown.

I will never forget the conversation I had with this same friend about following our dreams. He said, “I may not be the smartest, or the best-looking, but I work hard for what I want”. He talked about people with undeniable talents and gifts that do not utilize them. He said, “the more of them that are not trying, the greater my chances”.

What he meant was; it makes it easier on the “swimmers” to stay afloat when most people would rather play it safe! I thought about myself and the gift of writing that God has blessed me with. How often I was using it and how it played a role in me living out my purpose. With that said, think about the talents and Gifts that you have been given. Are you using them? When is the last time you honestly thought about them? What is stopping you from following your heart?

What do you really have to lose, when you have your happiness to gain? I am learning to live a life without regrets when it comes to following my heart. Things may not go according to “your” plan, but you have to be aware of the bigger picture. I believe with all of my heart, that if we continue to try and not give-up we shall reach the happiness we long for. It is not too late to start your journey. Do not let FOF be your justification for wasting your life!

How are you writing your script?

This is something that has been on my mind for a while. I wanted to share it because I thought that it may be refreshing to hear. My life has changed dramatically over the last few years. For me, the tornado of life had to come and tear down the negative walls I built around me. My thoughts, my words, and actions were creating an existence far from God’s plan for my life. God spoke to me in whispers (compliments of Oprah Winfrey) but I continued to go about life the way I knew best.

I do believe that our negative thoughts manifest knowingly and subconsciously. Some of us sabotage everything in our lives because we expect bad things to happen. One of my favorite phrases was “I am so happy right now, so I know something bad is about to come.” I know I am not alone. I have heard this spoken by many. Well, if that is what you think, therefore it will be.

This concept is universal and can be found throughout great pieces of literature, even your bibles! I did not realize that I was writing the script of my life based on negative thoughts, and words! Did you hear what I said? I was writing the script of my life based on negative thoughts, and words! My world was slowly crashing around me! I was not aware of the madness I was creating and consequently was brought to a very low place. But it was in this low place that I realize that I was not living the life that God has promised me all along! In the book, the “Secret” the term “Universe” was used to describe the force that drove us to greatness. There are many terms used for this omniscient presence that we feel but do not see. For me God is the correct terminology.

It is good to know that you are not alone, and that your thoughts and feelings are being heard. Now what you decide to put out in the “Universe” is up to you! My life has changed dramatically just by changing the way I speak. I have noticed that by changing phrases like “I hope this will happen” to “This is happening” makes a world of difference in the goodness you bring into your life. Speak good things in your life as if they already are. I am not talking about superficial things that do not enrich your life! I am speaking on the goodness that comes from your core. I believe we all can feel it. We all have passions and gifts that are undeniable. If you are someone who says “Well, I don’t know what my gift is”; you may be blocking the flow of awareness with all the mess you have surrounding you!

Ask for wisdom and guidance. I am saying all of this to make the point that you can change the life that you are living right now. You can change it today by believing that you deserve what God wants for your life and believing it to be so. If you replace the negative thoughts and feelings with faith, I guarantee you will see a change in your life! Now, when I look back on the phrase I used to say, ““I am so happy right now, so I know something bad is about to come.”   I now see that I created that prophesy by speaking it into existence.

I now know that the company that I kept and the negative situations I found myself in were often a reflection of my own thoughts! Wow, I know that is some deep stuff and some may disagree. I just wanted to share what is working for me. I now practice speaking positivity in my life and I have witnessed the changes. I am watching my deepest inner thoughts become reality! Not everyone will listen to this, but for those who have faith, take heed to these words because they could change your life for the best! Remember to bare all, the truth is better naked!

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall…

If you took a long look in the mirror, what would you see? Would you like the person staring back at you? Would you even recognize them? Are you proud of those eyes staring into your soul? For a long time, I did not recognize the person staring back at me! I was spending a lot of time living for everyone else. It was easier to conform and walk the path most travelled! I am sure that many of you can relate. It is still a struggle to express the things that I believe when they sometimes go against what the average person is thinking. Especially when it is someone you respect and love.

Living a life that is not your own can be exhausting! Not to mention miserable. Many times we live a certain life style because it looks “good”. I know that you or someone you know bought a fancy car or a big house they can’t afford, just to satisfy the masses. News Flash… The masses aren’t stuck in debt, you are! They are not helping you with your bills each month, so why should they hold any weight in your daily decisions. People can give advice on what they think you should do or have. At the end of the day, advice is an option. It is not set in stone and if it goes against what you can handle or afford, consider it void. What is it about being an individual that is so frightening? Why do we care so much about what others think about our lives?

One of my grandmother’s favorite sayings, “Self-preservation is the first law of nature.” Meaning take care of yourself. Do what makes you happy. The only person who can live your life is you. If you look in the mirror and do not recognize the person looking back at you, it is time to make some changes. Why live another second denying your own happiness. I was watching Oprah’s life class and she spoke about having mud in your wings. How can you fly if you have negative forces all around you weighing you down? If the only way to get back to you is to drop some unneccessary weight, I suggest you get busy! We have the God-given right to live a purpose driven life. If this piece speaks volumes to you; do whatever it takes to get control of your life. Oh and one more thing…DO IT RIGHT NOW!

“ASS”UMPTIONS

I know you have heard the expression, “When you assume, you make an ass of u and me!” I love this! Just think about how many times you have drawn your own conclusions about someone else’s feelings instead of communicating with them. We often try to read non-verbal cues or interpret a single sentence. Why is it easier to assume how someone is feeling rather than going directly to the source? This is particularly difficult in intimate relationships. I was talking to a friend about communication. We discussed the importance of expressing your thoughts and feelings in a relationship. As he put it “Communication is everything!”

I myself am guilty of often assuming that my partner knows how I am feeling. In my mind he knows what I want and should act accordingly. I know that I am not alone. How many times have you been mad at your partner because they did not act the way you thought they should have? Your expectations are sky high and your communication is on ground level! Is this logical? Why has it become a pattern in most relationships? The worst part is that we act on our assumptions. In extreme cases, it can cause one partner to cheat, or walk away from a relationship that may have been salvaged by simply communicating. We assume more about our relationships than we actually know about our relationships!

Meaning, most of the knowledge that we obtain regarding our relationships are drawn from our own assumptions. So unless you are a mind reader I suggest you sit down with your significant other and find out how they are feeling! Ask questions like, “What did you mean by that?” Or “How do you feel this relationship is going?” Communication is the key! Try talking things over in a mature way rather than cursing and screaming. Think about exactly what you want to say. Sometime it helps to write things down before you say them. If you are in a relationship that lacks communication, you may want to sit down with your partner and express the importance of talking things over. It may be the difference between a lasting, fulfilling relationship and one that ends in disaster! Remember many big decisions have been wrongfully handled based on assumptions. I’m talking social, economical, political, you name it! If you have someone in your life that is worth having, make sure you take the time to communicate and learn how to listen!

Happiness: Road Map to Success

It is difficult to follow your dreams when you are surrounded by those who do not understand. There are those who will wish you to fail out of jealousy or spite, and then there are those who love you and want you to play it safe. Either way, it can be poisonous. Whether a snake bites you out of fear or malice, the venom will have the same effect! During these trying times, remember to stay true to you! I am speaking from experience. I spent 7 years studying a subject, only to find that I wanted to do something else! I do not regret what I have learned and feel that is still relevant to my journey.

It’s  hard having different people buzzing in your ear telling you what they think you should do. Why don’t you apply for this job? Have you tried a different state? What are you going to do? Ugh! It is enough to drive you crazy! It is important that you focus on what makes you happy! I was watching Oprah’s Life Class and she was speaking on material possessions. She stated, “No thing, material possession matters in terms of defining who you are.”  Just think about that, the next time you are stressing about how things look to everyone else. Are you truly happy with what you are doing? There is no mistaking what puts a smile on your face.

Think about what you love doing when no one is watching. Stay true to those things. That is what will bring success to your life. Take a few minutes today to think about what brings joy to your heart. If it takes more than a few minutes, you have some work to do! Let’s go on this journey together. We all need encouragement a long the way. Please take time to write down what makes you happy on my blog spot. For some, it may be the first step to changing your life in a positive way!

The Hip Hop Preacher

I love this video! Eric Thomas, also known as the Hip Hop Preacher, talks with a group of youth about success. I don’t want to spoil it for you by giving all the details, but it is a must see. It is not only relevant to youth but adults as well. This is something that we should all think about through out our journey. What are you doing to make your dreams and desires a reality. The truth is better naked!!